As a child, I couldn't wait to give gifts and watch others open that very special thing that I bought just for them. I also remember it being small items that we would "buy" at our school Christmas bazaar and ones that my parents would just love to open and see every year. I remember one of the coolest items was a small neck tie ornament that I chose just for my Dad. Or how about a really neatly designed bead wreath lapel pin? They were never anything big or expensive but rather things that I put so much thought into. I would like for my daughters to feel that same joy, rather than be stressed that they need to get their parents or other family members any of the new "gadgets" or things out there on the market.
As an adult, giving gifts stresses me out. I can't figure out what to give and then feel guilty if I don't spend a certain amount on any certain person. I tell myself that I am going to "cut back" and not worry about what I am giving, but then I crunch the numbers of our budget each year and get stressed that we aren't doing enough. I work myself up for absolutely no reason at all. I buy things that people don't necessarily need or even use and waste hard earned money just to fulfill the idea that I absolutely have to give gifts of great stature. And then I live to regret it and feel a bit of bitterness toward what is supposed to be the most beautiful time of year. To help relieve some of the stress, I have suggested to my own sister that we not exchange gifts for one another but rather do lunch or something together. We are leaving the gift giving to the kids of the family. I feel such a huge sense of relief over this decision.. and quite surprisingly, she was open to the idea!
With all of that said, I have also decided to set an annual limit on toys for our oldest daughter and now our youngest daughter, as she gets older. We also have two older children who will receive a gift, as well, but nothing that we will feel obligated to give, as they are now adults.
I loved the article that I read in the magazine that had input from another mother where she has a "3 gift rule". Yes, three gifts! Really? Is that possible? She centered it around the idea of the three wiseman. She feared that her kids might miss out and feel like they were shorted at this time of year. However, the simplicity of the idea and the appreciation that her children showed were well worth the idea! One time her daughter even said that she" felt like Baby Jesus because of the 3 gifts that she received and thought it was kind of cool." Wow!! Let's have that feeling at this time of year instead, don't ya think?
With the toys that they get from grandparents and other family (which I have also asked to be cut back as much as possible but respect the idea that they do like to give what they are capable of giving) and the toys that they will get from Santa, I do not think that my children will ever feel like they are missing out. I also do not want them to lose the true meaning of the season and remember that they are loved not by the amount of gifts received but because of the memories being made.
This also helps with the clutter in our house too, so a win-win for everyone!!
(always a way to help me better manage as a Mom in there somewhere, I won't lie)
Okay, so now on to help my oldest daughter find those "special" little gifts for those that we love... let's see what we can come up with!! Watch out crazy neckties, ornaments and hand-made goodies... here we come!
Do you limit the number of gifts for your children? How do you help them to remember the "meaning of the season"?
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